Lessons from decades of studying well-being.
Highlights:
- The longest-running study on human life, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, shows that meaningful relationships are the strongest predictors of a good life.
- Once basic needs are met, additional wealth does not meaningfully increase happiness or life satisfaction.
- Modern technology can create an illusion of connection, but superficial online interactions often fail to replace deep, real-life relationships.
- Long-term well-being also depends on healthy lifestyle habits, including preventive care, exercise, and avoiding harmful behaviors.
- Some societies, like Bhutan, measure success through collective well-being (Gross National Happiness) rather than economic growth alone.
What makes a life good? In 1938, a group of researchers in the United States asked that question and, from it, began the longest-running study of human life, the Harvard Study of Adult Development. This project has followed a group of young men educated at Harvard University to understand adult development and mental health over the course of their lives.
At the same time, in the early 1940s, another study was being conducted with a very different group of people. This one included young men who grew up in disadvantaged neighborhoods in downtown Boston. “They were interested in identifying predictors of delinquency, but they had a controlled group of non-delinquent youth,” says Dr. Robert Waldinger, psychiatrist, fourth director of the study, and also a Zen priest. Over the decades, the two investigations were eventually merged. “My predecessor, George Vaillant, combined these two groups,” he explains.
It was a study about well-being at a time when no one was doing that kind of research.
Robert Waldinger
Since then, the lives of these participants have been tracked, observing how their physical and mental health, career paths, and marriages evolve, along with their achievements and difficulties. In fact, the children of participants from both original groups have now been included. “It was a study about well-being at a time when no one was doing that kind of research,” clarifies Dr. Robert Waldinger.
Measuring happiness scientifically is difficult because it is inherently subjective. For that reason, multiple methods have been used to obtain a more reliable picture of each person’s life. Participants in both groups are asked about their own experiences and life satisfaction, but information has also been collected from people close to them. “We brought in the spouses and studied them, and then we brought in the children,” adds Waldinger. This allows researchers to compare how individuals describe their lives with how others perceive their well-being.
The study also incorporates biological measurements, such as inflammatory markers, cortisol levels, and heart rate variability, to understand how stress and health relate to happiness. In some cases, participants have even undergone brain imaging studies. “We looked at the connectivity between different areas of the brain when they viewed positive images versus negative images.” Although the original groups consisted of American men, following people from such different social backgrounds over decades has made it possible to see how social circumstances, personal decisions, health habits, and, above all, human relationships shape life.
Loneliness and social isolation promote all the things we know stress promotes.
Robert Waldinger
One of the clearest findings shows that health and happiness are, surprisingly, directly connected to the quality of our personal relationships. Those who report stronger and more satisfying bonds, especially with partners, family, and close friends, tend to be healthier and happier. In contrast, those who lack meaningful connections with others often show higher levels of stress and worse health outcomes. “Loneliness and social isolation promote all the things we know stress promotes,” he explains.
When we talk about the importance of personal relationships, it might be easy to assume that being extroverted is necessary to be healthy and happy, but that is completely false. “What we found was that, whether you are introverted or extroverted, everyone needs at least one or two people they know will be there for them when they are going through a difficult time,” Waldinger explains. In other words, it is not the quantity, but the quality of these connections.
When distinguishing between quality and quantity, it is inevitable to consider the digital age and how it has transformed the way we create and maintain these connections. On one hand, it is now easier to stay in touch. “Think about how easy it is now to send a text message to a friend,” Waldinger notes. But that same technology also creates an illusion of closeness. It gives the impression that people have hundreds, thousands, or even millions of friends. However, many of those interactions exist only on the surface and rarely translate into meaningful relationships. “What is so difficult, and of course we are all concerned about it, is what happens when we substitute online friends for real connections.” In that process, social media interactions begin to replace real relationships. And the result, paradoxically, is a sense of isolation, even when social life appears, at least on the surface, more active than ever.
What would the money be for? What would you do with it? Most of the time they have no idea.
Robert Waldinger
At the same time, these platforms have led us to believe that success is tied to fame and money. “It’s not something new with social media,” Waldinger clarifies. Long before they existed, societies already viewed wealthy figures as symbols of success—an idea that still persists today. Many young people tell him that their goal in life is to become multimillionaires. “What would the money be for? What would you do with it?” he asks them. “Most of the time they have no idea,” he says. They have simply received the message that becoming a multimillionaire would be something extraordinary. And the reality is that the data from our study shows something completely different. Once basic needs are met, such as financial stability, security, and access to healthcare, greater wealth does not translate into greater happiness.
Every time a law is proposed to do anything in the country, whatever it may be, they must include a section describing how it will affect Gross National Happiness.
Robert Waldinger
Faced with the idea that happiness and well-being depend on material things, there are other ways to understand them. For example, Bhutan, a predominantly Buddhist country in the Himalayan mountain range, has a different perspective on what it means for a society to thrive. Unlike many countries that measure success primarily through economic growth, Bhutan focuses on the concept of collective well-being. The country is known for promoting the idea of Gross National Happiness, an indicator created in 1972 that evaluates progress through the well-being of its population. In this vision, people are not seen as separate from one another, but as part of a larger whole. One person’s well-being is linked to the well-being of others. As a result, a successful society is defined by whether, as a whole, it is thriving. “Every time a law is proposed to do anything in the country, whatever it may be, they must include a section describing how it will affect Gross National Happiness,” Waldinger mentions.
Finally, something that may seem obvious by simple logic, and that the study also found, is the importance of physical health habits. Those who take care of their health throughout life tend to live longer and accumulate more years free of disability. “People who had access to good healthcare and received preventive care,” Waldinger highlights, along with those who avoided smoking and substance abuse, exercised regularly, and maintained healthy lifestyles, showed longer and healthier lives. “They not only lived longer, but they also had more years of life without disability, and did not develop age-related diseases as quickly as their counterparts who did not take care of themselves,” he says.
So, what helps us live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life? It is not what we see in the content we consume, and much less material things. The difference lies in the quality of our personal relationships. “Whenever you have the thought of being there for someone, a friend, a colleague, or a family member, of going to see them, when that thought arises, don’t question it. Just show up,” he says. These are the gestures that bring us closer to others and make those we care about feel that they are not alone. That is what matters most, having strong relationships and good physical health habits.
